The DUDE Tournament - Final 4

The Tournament continues, without further adude:

THIRD ROUND - MALIBU REGION

1. The Big Lebowski vs 4. Malibu Police Chief
He didn't like the Big L's jerk-off wheelchair. He didn't like his jerk-off rug. He didn't like his jerk-off Chinaman hatred. And he really didn't like his jerk-off finger roll.

2. Brandt vs 11. The Corvette Owner
A million bucks? Hardly Dude. The Owner played like 30 or 40,000 bucks, depending on the options. (Sorry, Becker. I guess you lose again. But I settled that so-called debate here, not to mention on the car ride back from the Giants game. Did I ever tell you that Chaz lost his Art Monk jersey simply walking to the Metro after you dropped us off?)

SO-CAL REGION

1. Walter vs 4. Liam
Not only did Walter win, but he left the Pomeranian at Lima's during the match. Ate the furniture.

2. Jackie Treehorn vs 14. 'Nam
If you spell Nam backwards, you get Man. As in, man, what a good game Nam played. Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude. Have it your way.

CAMEROW REGION

1. Jesus Quintana vs 12. The Urn
You know that scene in Kingpin, where the opponents are distracted by Vanessa Angel jumping around? Well, the Urn learned a thing or two from that and brought in some ringers--real ringers. Yep, real 8-year-old ringers, Dude.

2. Donnie vs 3. Karl Hungus
Mark it, 9-toed woman lover. I'm throwing rocks tonight.

NORTH HOLLYWOOD REGION

1. Maude vs 4. Bunny
Some would say Maude's jumpshot has been commended as strongly vaginal. Others would just say she shoots like a girl.

2. The Stranger vs 3. Arthur Digby Sellers
The Tomahawk jam? That's not some kinda Eastern thing. Far from it.


FOURTH ROUND - MALIBU REGION

1. The Big Lebowski vs. 2. Brandt
A little-known Brandt fact: He once beat Prince on his own court. Then served him pancakes.

SO-CAL REGION

1. Walter vs 14. 'Nam
Walter himself dabbled in Pacifism. Not while playing 'Nam of course.

CAMEROW REGION

2. Donnie vs 12. The Urn
I didn't like seeing Donnie go. And the Urn didn't like seeing Donnie go out in an empty tin of Folger's coffee from Ralph's.

NORTH HOLLYWOOD REGION

2. The Stranger vs 4. Bunny
Sometimes you eat the bar, well, and sometimes you go find a cash machine.

Tune in this weekend for the Final 4 Contests: Walter vs. Brandt and The Urn vs. Bunny. And Go Hoyas.