Fuckin-A

What does one say about such a finely edited video? Fuckin-A.

Anyone count how many "fucks" are uttered? Let us know.

A World of Pain: 4th Annual Fest Trivia Answers

She owes money to known pornographers, and that's cool. That's cool.

Answers to the 4th Annual Fest Trivia Quiz (creativity counts):

(Haven't taken the quiz yet? Then what are you doing here? You should be here.)

1. C; 2. tiles-foyer; scissors-studio; tool-logjammin; trampoline-garden party; 3. $4 (almost five) BONUS: $18; 4. Vietnam, Persian Gulf, Korean; 5. “Good night, sweet prince.” BONUS: Hamlet DOUBLE BONUS: Horatio; 6. Lingenberger Pancakes; 7. Pomeranian; 8. Notts Harrington BONUS: video artist; 9. work, drive in car, ride around in a car, roll, turn on oven, answer the phone; 10. vagina BONUS: well, did you say it?; 11. uzi; 12. Sherri BONUS: Asia Carrera; 13. Jackie-finders fee; Maude-recovered sum; Big-20 grand; 14. Van Nys; 15. D; 16. The Big Lebowski BONUS: “I will not abide another toe.”; 17. Volkswagon Bug BONUS: blue; 18. D; 19. A BONUS: Mrs. Jamtoss; 20. (two options) 1. The ability to do what’s right, whatever the cost 2. That or a pair of testicles; TIE BREAKER: We have bunny, bring $1 million in unmarked, non-consecutive twenties, await instructions, no funny stuff.

High Score: 30 or so
Winner: Robbie Jaffe (21.5)

A World of Pain: 3rd Annual Fest Trivia Answers

Smokey, this is not 'Nam, it's Lebowski DC.

Answers to the 3rd Annual Fest Trivia Quiz (keep in mind creativity counts):

(Haven't taken the quiz yet? Then what are you doing here? You should be here.)

1. Folgers; BONUS-$180; 2. C; 3. 3:00 this afternoon; 4. nyphomania; 5. C; 6. part 1-Karl Hungus; part 2-Uli Koko; BONUS-Slippery Pete; 7. V. I. Lenin with “You look for the person who will benefit…”, John Lennon with “I am the walrus.”, Theodore Hertzl with “If you will it, it is no dream.”, The Ex with “Aitz chaim he.”; 8. Maude; 9. Minnesota; BONUS-Moorehead; 10. Pasadena; 11. On his rug after bowling; at Maude’s (2); in the bathtub; at the bowling alley (2); in the limo; at Jackie Treehorn’s (2); post-coitus with Maude; BONUS-10; 12. Sept. 11, 1991; 13. B; BONUS-two phone books; 14. A; 15. Some chinaman took them from him in Korea; 16. Corvette; BONUS-$30,000 to $40,000; 17. Saddam Hussein; 18. drive around; occasional acid flashback; bowling.; 19. Jesus Quintana and Liam O’Brian; 20. $100,000

High Score: 28 or so (with Bonuses)
Winner: Chris Chase (20.5)

A World of Pain: 2nd Annual Fest Trivia Answers

Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?

Answers to the 2nd Annual Trivia Quiz (keep in mind creativity counts):

(Haven't taken the quiz yet? Then what are you doing here? You should be here.)

1. Reagan; 2. Beer; 3. 29; 4. Ralph’s card; 5. $100; 6. B; 7. Flea; 8. Lookin’ out my back door; Run through the jungle; 9. A; 10. 69 cents; 11. 6 months; 12. C; 13. Autobahn; BONUS-Nagelbett; 14. 1-Author of the Port Huron statement (the original, not the compromised second draft; 2-Seattle Seven (him and six other guys); Roadie for Metallica Speed of Sound tour (bunch of assholes); 15. Marty Ackerman; 16. D; 17. Big Lebowski’s West Wing; bathtub, car, post-coitus with Maude; 18. Maude; 19. B; BONUS-Bob; 20. Real name-Fawn Knutsen; Porn name-Bunny La Joya; TIE-BREAKER-14

High Score: 23 or so
Winner: Chris Chase (16)

Chronicles of an Angry Driver

I got a rash, man. Fuckin-A.

Our friend Chris Chase, a Lebowski DC co-founder who comes to each Fest as the Dude because, in the true spirit of the Dude, he's too lazy to find a real costume, ranks among the angriest drivers in Washington, which ranks him high in the running for angriest worldwide.

Yesterday he left me a lengthy voicemail that, in addition to being So Un-Dude, expresses his true road rage. Here it is, verbatim, in the parlance of our time:

"There's a lady in front of me who's yielding, when there’s no one to yield to, and my heater hasn’t come on yet.

"And my class was a full two hours and 45 minutes, and it was boring as hell, and some lady was talking about hypotheticals that would happen to nobody. So she’s just sitting there giving scenario after scenario. ‘Well, if you can’t do your field experience because a bear has mauled your sister-in-law, then here’s what you do, and if you can’t do your field experience because a 747 crashed on your neighbor’s house, then here’s what you do.’ I’m like, lady, give me something I could use.

"And why are we braking? It said left turn only. So now you’re getting in the right—Oh now you’re crossing the bridge. No shit, you have DC plates. Of course you’re going over the bridge. Goddamn. And now we’re going to brake and go three miles an hour up this hill. You have your fucking hazards on. Either turn em off, or get off the road.

"Are you still on the phone? [Jackie's Note: I was never on the phone.] Wow. I kinda blacked out there.

"Now you turn your hazards off. What, because the left turn at a 75-degree angle—are you fucking kidding me? Both of you! I hope you drive off the cliff, both of you. Right into the river.

"Where was I? Maybe I should read that book you and Ben got me.” [Jackie's Note: The book in reference was a self-help guide to anger management.]

Is This Your Homework?

Becker: This is why you lost the costume contest.

Perhaps They Towed It

We don't know how this little red number fit its way into that tight spot, but we watched the whole damn thing.

Even the part where the driver got out and waved.

We do know, however, that he dinged those other two cars. The driver is at large, but we have four men working on the case. Captain's got us working in shifts.

A World of Pain: 4th Annual Fest Trivia Contest

Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

1. What company name is on the back of Donny’s orange shirt?
a) Rick’s Limo Service
b) North Hollywood Links
c) Park Cleaners Southside
d) Kim’s Westside Massage

2. Match the dream-sequence element to its original location: black & white tiles Maude’s studio scissors Jackie Treehorn’s garden party tool belt The Big Lebowski’s foyer trampoline Logjammin’

3. How much money does the Dude have on him when the Nihilists want to “calls it even”?
BONUS: How much does Donny have?

4. Name three wars mentioned or referred to during the movie:

5. What is the last thing Walter says before scattering Donny’s ashes?
BONUS: What Shakespearean play does this line come from? DOUBLE BONUS: What character in the play says it?

6. What does the 9-toed woman order at the diner?

7. What kind of dog does Walter bring bowling? (You can’t leave him home alone or he eats the furniture.)

8. What is the name of Maude’s friend with the cleft asshole, who doesn’t get the Dude a
drink?
BONUS: What is his profession?

9. Name up to five things Walter doesn’t do on Shabbas, the Jewish day of rest (half point each; 3 points for all five):

10. According to Maude, what word do some men find difficult to say?
BONUS: Say it out loud, right now.

11. What kind of a piece does Walter bring with him to make the drop? (You didn’t think he’d roll out of there naked.)

12. What is the name of Bunny’s friend, in the beaver picture, who came over to use the shower (the story is ludicrous)?
BONUS: What is this friend’s name in real life? (HINT: she’s a professional beaver picturer)

13. Match the offer to the person giving it:
1. Jackie Treehorn
2. Maude Lebowski
3. The Big Lebowski

A. 10% of the recovered sum
B. 20 Grand, man
C. 10% finder’s fee

14. Where was the Dude’s car found lodged against an abutment? (We got four more detectives on the case.)

15. While in the bath, the Dude listens to what tape?
a) Sounds of the Breeze
b) Enya
c) Beach Tunes
d) Song of the Whale

16. We know the Dude abides. But what character first says the word “abide”?
BONUS: Give the exact line.

17. What kind of car does DaFino drive? (make & model)
BONUS: What color?

18. What street does Larry Sellars live on?
a) Pasadena
b) North Hollywood
c) Camerow
d) Radford

19. What is Larry Sellars’ homework about?
BONUS: What’s his teacher’s name? a) Emancipation Proclamation
b) Men in Black Pajamas
c) Louisiana Purchase
d) Ponce de Leon

20. What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?

TIE-BREAKER
Re-write the Nihilist’s ransom note as well as you can.

Click on images to download the original quiz:

A World of Pain: 3rd Annual Fest Trivia Contest

Donny was a good bowler, and a good man.

1. When Donny’s remains are scattered out of a coffee tin (just because they’re bereaved doesn’t make them saps) what brand of coffee is used?

BONUS: How much would the “modestly priced” urn have cost?

2. Which of the following is not one of Smokey’s “emotional problems”?
a) Being fragile
b) Being a conscientious objector
c) Being in a world of pain
d) Being a pacifist

3. Walter can have a toe, with nail polish, by what time this afternoon?

4. Analogy: Men are to Satyriasis as Women are to:

5. Which of these former U.S. Presidents is not shown or mentioned in the movie?
a) Richard Nixon
b) George H. W. Bush
c) Jimmy Carter
d) Ronald Reagan

6. (2-part) What’s the lead nihilist’s porn name, and what’s his “real” name in the movie?
BONUS: What character did he play in the “Frogger” episode of Seinfeld?

7. Match the following quotes to their originator:

1. “If you will it, it is no dream.”
2. “You look for the person who will benefit and, uh, uh…”
3. “Aitz chaim he”
4. “I am the walrus”

A. V. I. Lenin
B. John Lennon
C. Theodore Hertzl
D. The Ex

8. As The Dude’s swims through the air in his first dream sequence, who is
riding the carpet (excuse me, the rug) in front of him?

9. According to Da Fino (a dick, man, a brother Shamus), Bunny Lebowski is from what state? BONUS: What city?

10. The big Lebowski was given the key to what California city, for his various civic...?

11. Name two places The Dude drinks a White Russian?
BONUS: Within 2, how many does he drink during the entire movie?
12. Way out West, The Dude writes a 69-cent check for a carton of half-and-half. What’s the date on the check?

13. On what road does Walter turn left to get on the bridge, as instructed by the kidnappers? BONUS: What’s actually in the briefcase The Dude is supposed to throw? (No funny stuff.)
a) La Jolla Street
b) Simi Valley Road
c) San Fernando Avenue
d) Pasadena Boulevard

14. At what venue does The Dude’s landlord perform his dance-quintet — you know, his cycle?
a) Crane Jackson’s Fountain Street Theatre
b) Grady Canyon’s Mountain State Theatre
c) The In-and-Out Burger
d) West Hollywood Street Public Theatre

15. How did the big Lebowski lose his legs? (He went out and achieved anyway.)

16. What kind of car does Walter smash?
BONUS: How much does he say it’s worth (depending on the options)?

17. At the beginning of “Gutterballs,” the psychedelic porn starring The Dude and Maude Lebowski, who hands The Dude a pair of bowling shoes?

18. Name up to three things The Dude tells Maude he does for recreation, after performing the physical act of love, or coitus.

19. After rolling their way into the semis, The Dude and Walter are scheduled to play what team? (HINT: They should be pushovers.)
BONUS: What are their full names?

20. How many bones (or clams or whatever you want to call them) does Maude offer The Dude, if he recovers the money from the people he delivered it to?

TIE BREAKER 'On the back, draw your best recreation of Jackie Treehorn’s phone message.

Click on images to download the original quiz:

A World of Pain: 2nd Annual Fest Trivia Contest

Sometimes you eat the bar, and — much obliged — sometimes the bar, well, he eats you.


1. The Big Lebowski met privately with what former U.S. President?

2. Caucasian is to White Russian as Oat Soda is to:

3. How many total pins do we see Donnie knock down during the movie?

4. When The Dude is brought in to see the Police Chief of Malibu, what is his only ID?

5. How much would it cost Brandt to watch Bunny Lebowski go down on The Dude?

6. Which of the following is not an acceptable name for The Dude:
a) His Dudeness
b) Brother Shamus
c) El Duderino
d) Duder

7. What real-life famous musician played one of the three Nihilists?

8. Name the two Creedence songs played during the film:

9. Arthur Digby Sellars, the man who wrote the bulk of the series Branded (not exactly a lightweight), was responsible for how many episodes?
a) 156
b) 158
c) 12
d) 1,056

10. In the opening scene The Dude writes a check for some cream. How much does he write the check for?

11. How many months did The Jesus do in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old?

12. Which of the following did The Dude not spend his time doing during college:
a) smoking tai sticks
b) breaking into the ROTC
c) dabbling in Pacifism
d) occupying various administration buildings
e) bowling

13. What’s the name of the Technopop group the Nihilists were in during the 1970s? (Spelling doesn’t count.)
BONUS: What’s the name of the L.P.

14. After performing the physical act of love, or coitus, with special lady friend Maude Lebowski, name one thing The Dude lists when asked what he has done for a career?

15. Walter’s ex-wife goes to Hawaii with:

16. Who’s in charge of scheduling at the Southern Cal Bowling League?
a) Calvin Broadus
b) Burkett
c) Showalter
d) Burkhalter

17. Name one place The Dude “does a J.”

18. In the dream sequence where The Dude is trapped inside the bowling ball, what other character rolls it?

19. Right before Maude steals his rug, The Dude is lying on it listening to headphones. Which of the following is on Side A?
a) Malibu Bowling League Playoffs 1985
b) Venice Beach League Playoffs 1987
c) Manhattan Beach League Playoffs 1988
d) Redondo Beach League Playoffs 1992
BONUS: What one word description is on Side B?

20. Name either Bunny Lebowski’s real name or her porn name. (BONUS for both.)

TIE-BREAKER QUESTION
How many times does the phone ring in the bowling alley right after Walter tosses The Ringer out the window?

Click on images to download the original quiz:

Pictures from the 4th Annual Fest

Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?

Click on an image to enlarge

Founding Trio '06

Sometimes there's a set-up...

Saddam & Crazy Neighbor

Is this your homework?

Trivia winner

Is there a Ralph's around here?

We know that this is your homework

I kill your fucking car man

Costume co-winners

Jackie's goons

Brandt can't watch, though

With nail polish

Liam and me...

Fucking amateurs

The bums will always lose

Branded

It's already the 10th

Shomer Shabbos

Keeping minds limber

Happy Saddam

Those are good burgers