Washington Lebo'Skins

Sometimes there's a blog post -- I won't say a hero, 'cause what's a hero -- but sometimes there's a blog post, well, shoot, I done introduced the post comparing the SEC football teams to Simpsons characters enough.

Being as lazy as the Dude, I've decided to kidnap myself; myself, in this case, being the aforementioned post; SEC football teams being the Washington Redskins players; and Simpsons characters being, of course, Lebowski folk.

The Skins lineup is in our hands, Dude...

Dan Snyder = The Big Lebowski
Pretty much every season, the goddamn plane crashes into the mountain. And who does The Danny blame? The bums, of course. Some Chinaman took a GM from him in Korea. But he went out and achieved anyway. And he cannot solve that problem of you not being able to see because of your obstructed-view seat, only you can.












Vinny Cerrato = Brandt
We had not considered that we overspent for Archuleta, Dude.











Joe Gibbs = The Stranger
See how the "R" on his hat kinda curls up at the sides, like The Stranger's mustache? That's not a coincidence. Coach Joe is infinitely wise and often appears dead on the sideline. And who would really be surprised if, mid-third quarter, he turned to his left and said, "I dig your style, Buges, but do you have to use so many darn cuss words?"









Clinton Portis = The Dude
C.P., or Dollar Dollar Bill if you're not into the whole brevity thing, is as carefree as the Dude. No doubt he spent many summers at The U holding a beer in one hand and a joint in the other while crashing his car into a tree.













Jon Jansen = Walter Sobchak
We know from the stories of him hunting with Brunell and Ramsey that he shoots things, including perhaps Nihilists. And a man that size, well, he's got to have some dirty undies. Just look at these pictures. Jesus. (I said it, man.) Speaking of Jesus...









Marcus Washington = Jesus Quintana
A Marcus Washington tackle celebration is every bit as elaborate as the Jesus' strike dance. One might even say that Marcus jumps around like, dare i say it, an 8-year-old, Dude.

More to come, including Ade Jimoh as, yes, Smokey. (This is not Special Teams, this is bowling. There are rules.)

Dudeism

That some kind of Eastern thing?

The Dude is responsible for a new religion, says the Chicago Sun-Times: Dudeism. Say what you want about its tenets, at least it's an ethos.

Dudeism.com is actually a fantastic site. The writer of the article, however, needs to revisit a little Dude 101. In her attempt to cleverly play off the film's dialogue, she writes: "Perhaps that's what makes the Dude so dang appealing." Perhaps she meant "so darned interesting."

She goes on to call the Dude "lazy but not lackadaisical." We know she owns a dictionary--her lede references one. (And how refreshing it is to see the dictionary lede outside of a high school yearbook.) According to my dictionary, lazy is the second definition of lackadaisical. Perhaps we should cut her a break, though. The first definition, after all, is listless.

Our Great Reporter in the Field couldn't quite get a comment from Dudeism.com's creator; I'll admit, us Lebowski site builders are hard to reach. She did manage to track down our good friend Will Russell of Lebowski Fest, who is the primary reason this site changed URLs from lebowskifestdc.com. More on this un-Dude in a later post. But, for now, some on this un-Dude.

[The Dude] keeps rolling with the punches. They pee on his rug and he goes and gets another rug.

That's what Russell has to say in defense of the Dude "abiding." I've always found it pretty darned interesting--I'm sorry, pretty dang appealing--that supposed Lebowski pundits (and, in this case, Russell as well) interpret the Dude's action during the movie as Dude-like. The beauty of the movie is that we understand what the Dude is typically like even though he's rarely like that during the film--particularly when he aggressively, and uncharacteristically, takes the second rug at Walter's prodding. Hence Duderino's revealing line, "My thinking about this case has become very uptight," late in the film.

And, according to my dictionary, uptight doesn't mean lazy. It doesn't even mean lackadaisical.

The Hungus Haiku

Where is zee money, Lebowksi?

The Hungus Haiku

You see zee problem:
Dana cable is unplugged.
I am zee expert

The Fuckin' Eagles

I hate the fucking Eagles

The Eagles are getting back together. The Dude had not considered this possibility, and he's bound not to take it well. So, let's wish the Dude a hearty, take 'er easy.

That brings up a question: Did it ever surprise anyone that the Dude would have such hatred for a band who wrote the song, Take It Easy?