The Early Favorites - Costume Contest

In the end, last year's controversial costume contest went to Walter.

The 5th Annual Lebowski DC is still two months away, but that's not too early to rank this year's likely winners for the costume contest. Many were unhappy with my choice of Walter over the Kill-Your-Fucking-Car guy, but I defend and stand by that decision here. This year's early favorites:

1. Chris Chase -- He has made it clear to me already, on several occasions, that his costume will be the clear winner, "if I can pull it off."

2. Jeremy Becker -- Still stinging from last year's close loss, Becker intends to claim what he thinks is rightfully his.

3. Ben Horowitz -- To rank the two-time defending costume champion third is an insult. Will he rise to the challenge or, like Arthur Digby Sellers, is his creativity on life-support?

4. Robbie Jaffe -- In previous years, the Saddam costume would have won him the crown. Last year it was only good enough for third place. Will he abide another poor performance?

5. Ben Cooper -- They say the bums will always lose, but last year Cooper pulled off a fantastic In-N-Out Burger hat without even realizing that those good burgers were from the movie. If that's not a naturally lazy, Dude-like move, I don't know what is.

Two-One-Two

Some know it as an NYC area code, I know it as the score I rolled Friday night.

The only pin I left on the lane was a single one in the third roll in the 10th. Add to that two sets of back-to-back strikes, and you have:

212

The DUDE Tournament - Champion

As the true NCAA tournament comes to a close in the other room (I refuse to watch any more Ohio State games, in any sport. Except perhaps bowling), so concludes the DUDE tournament in thissa here room, where we have thai sticks instead of bad calls, and Bob playing instead of 8(teen) year olds.

FINAL FOUR

1. Walter vs. 2. Brandt
No coincidence that today is the Jewish holiday of Passover: Three thousand years of beautiful basketball, from Moses (Malone) to Red Auerbach, you're goddamn right we're living in the fucking past. And in the lane.

12. The Urn vs. 4. Bunny
Where was she, when she didn't even kidnap herself? Winning, that's where. On the court, winning.

DUDE CHAMPIONSHIP

1. Walter vs. 4. Bunny
Bunny was a good player, and a good lay. She was...she was a nymphomaniac. She was a woman who loved cable, and Vegas, and as a sex fiend she explored the beaches of southern California, from La Jolla to the sandy back of a Volkswagon. She lost, like so many second-rate porn stars of her generation, in hi-definition. In your wisdom, Walter, you took her (to the hoop), just like you took so many others in this DUDE tournament to the hoop, including Woo, Liam, and 'Nam. These young players gave their wins. And so did Bunny. Bunny who loved Nihilists. And so, Bunny Lebowski nee Fawn Knutsen, in accordance with what we think your losing wishes might well have been, we remit your final, mortal, voluptuous remains to the bosom of Sheri in Logjammin, who you loved so well.

Good night sweet princess.